Below is an article wrote by Brenda Della Casa, which has been published by Play Magazine in Washington. I found it really speaks my heart, especially the way she describes love, friendship and work. I agree with her, twenty something is a beautiful but awkward stage. Just want to put it on my blog, to all my twenty something friends....

Quarter-life Crisis

Being Twenty-something - they call it the "Quarter- life Crisis. It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like......You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.

What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job ... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot don't seem as fun.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Pass this to your twenty-something friends... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion...

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." It's really amazing when two strangers become the best of friends, but it is really sad when the best of friends become two strangers.
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Strawberry Fields Forever

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  • emily
    Hi!i opened your space accidentally and read this article.i am kind of suffering from the Quarter-life Crisis as well:)

    a good article and a lovely blog!
  • Irene
    Emily thank you. Glad to know you feel the same as me. But hope we all have courage to overcome all this.

  • fu

  • Irene
    Hey, Fu, nice to meet you. You are welcome.
  • Brenda Della Casa
    or Madam:

    My editor has made me aware that my Quarter Life Crisis piece, which has been sent as an email forward as "Twenty-Something" is on several places on the Internet without crediting me. One of the sites it has been posted is yours.

    I wrote this piece in an email in April 2001 for my friends and published by Play Magazine in Washington, DC later that year.

    The piece is written about many of those friends and what I was going through months after college. As I said, this piece was written by me and published by Play Magazine which makes a lack of credit an intellectual property violation.

    Beyond that, failure to credit an author is disheartening and unethical.

    The few who have opted to plagiarize the piece have been contacted by my attorney and have apologized and given me proper credit for my work.

    I am a writer for For Me Magazine, Women's Day, The Phat and have a book coming out through McGraw-Hill in February 2007. I do not mind the piece being posted but you must credit me. It is my work and belongs to me. It brings me great heartache to see my thoughts posted as "unknown."

    Failure to add my name now that you have been made aware of its origin may result in legal action.

    All of the very best to you,

    Brenda Della Casa

    lolaspaghettigmail .com
  • Aiai
  • It speaks my heart too. i'm in twenty something i have strong feeling about it.